To Whom It May Concern:

I write to you today to toot my own horn loud enough to distract you from the slew of B-‘s in economics courses that are likely to make you reject my application out of hand, unless of course there is a senior executive at your bank who happens to share my last name. I can assure you that I will bring a unique skill set to your fine financial institution because I am wonderful at matching my tie to my shirt even when the two are made from fabrics with seemingly incompatible patterns.

I feel qualified to work at your bank because I am a warrior. Whereas in years past e-recruiting may have been the path of least resistance, this year those of us leaving lecture early to interview in suits our Moms bought us are on the front lines of the American struggle. Let the weak become aid workers in Darfur, let the timid teach math in Appalachia, let the frivolous enlist in the armed services–I am prepared to stand alone on the fiscal front lines.

But I’m not entirely selfless. I also just love money. Plus, my soul is weighing me down. I’d be willing to get rid of it for a decent signing bonus; it might even make me look thinner. If not hired, I’ll probably have no choice but to apply for TFA or the Peace Corps or some crap like that. Please find my CV attached.

Regards,

Charles Lambert Hughes
Degree Candidate in Government
Harvard College Class of 2009

PS- I have a great sense of humor, as evidenced by the fact that I am also sending this out to Merrill Lynch.