Most likely no one reading Legion needs to be informed that McSweeney’s is hilarious but this piece by Nick Ripatrazone is an especial gem that deserves to be linked to everywhere.

An excerpt:

Event

While Ms. Clinton reads It Takes a Village to a second-grade class, a student vomits on the carpet.

Clinton Description

“I remember landing under sniper fire. We dove to the floor as if a tornado-like wind had plowed us down. I covered my face with the book, but others were not so lucky: one girl had to burn her sneakers after the soles were marked with hellish regurgitation. I was able to herd the children out, counting each of their little heads as they passed, ensuring the safety of America’s future.”