But at least the original had something approximating efficacy in mind—votes, after all, deciding the actual outcomes of elections, which in turn direct billions of dollars towards all the precious causes rattled out by the celebrities. By contrast, the logic of Senior Gift is impenetrable. Last year, they note, over 1,000 seniors contributed. That’s, like, almost as many people as showed up to Lamont that one time to get free snacks! But you only have to donate $10—something about the price of burgers or condoms or whatever. Let’s be charitable and assume some people donate more, and put the mean contribution at $20. So Senior Gift raises $20,000.
Which, apparently, is enough to somehow fund:
— Financial aid
—Renovations to the MAC, Hemingway, and QRAC
—Making Harvard accessible to anyone regardless of their economic background
—Improving art spaces
—Improve advising programs
—The Cambridge Queen’s Head Pub
—Online registration and the course shopping tool
Let’s break that down in $20,000 chunks:
—Tuition for a single student for less than 2/3 of a year
Eh, whoops, looks like we’re already out of money. Looks like we’ll have to forego such things as 1/1500th of the cost of renovating the MAC, the salary of twenty Peer Advising Fellows, one two people studying abroad for a summer, or all the other great things that should be important to me than burgers or condoms or whatever.
But, yeah, you know, give! Have at it!