Legion » JKLOLZ

The woes of wealth

Garrett Dash Nelson — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 23:47:02 +0000

More to come on the insane civil disobedience of the übermenschen that is the “Going Galt” movement, but the proper prelude to the latest case of plutopersecution is Tom The Dancing Bug’s “Lucky Ducky” series. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Chance albums

Garrett Dash Nelson — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 17:45:21 +0000

In New York, when I was setting out to write the orchestral parts of my Concert for Piano and Orchestra which was performed September 19, 1958, in Cologne, I visited each player, found out what he could do with his instrument, discovered with him other possibilities, and then subjected all these findings to chance operations, ending up with a part that was quite indeterminate of its performance. After a general rehearsal, during which the musicians heard the result of their several actions, some of them — not all — introduced in the actual performance sounds of a nature not found in my notations, characterized for the most part by their intentions which had become foolish and unprofessional. In Cologne, hoping to avoid this unfortunate state of affairs, I worked with each musician individually and in general rehearsal was silent. I should let you know that the conductor has no score but has only his own part, so that, though he affects the other performers, he does not control them. Well, anyway, the result was in some cases just as unprofessional in Cologne as in New York. I must find a way to let people be free without their becoming foolish. So that their freedom will make them noble. How will I do this? That is the question.

John Cage, Indeterminacy, Story 17

With that, I would like to introduce my latest alt-rock masterpiece, hailed by critics as “a bold and emotional call in the darkness of the adult alternative mainstream”:

Spam artist or puritan?

Garrett Dash Nelson — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 14:13:43 +0000

1. Settable Q. Chair
2. Howlong Fenner
3. Remarkable Pettibone
4. Shriven Hotheadedness
5. Justus Forward
6. Portsmouth Dangle
7. Afforested Brim
8. Recluse Layette
9. Wrestling Brewster
10. Hunchback Abundances
11. Increase Mather
12. Nicholas Unless-Jesus-Christ-Had-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Barbon
13. Peaceable King
14. Eduardo Watches

Answers
1. Spam artist
2. Puritan
3. Puritan
4. Spam artist
5. Puritan
6. Spam artist
7. Spam artist
8. Spam artist
9. Puritan
10. Spam artist
11. Puritan
12. Puritan
13. Puritan
14. Spam artist

Finily! Teh recognishun we dersev!

Maryellen McGowan — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 05:19:45 +0000

(Titular homage to Paul Krugman via LOLcatz via Markus.)

EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT EXTRA EXTRA

We have officially made a list of “Gnome Links” and, in a cruel perversion of justice, are even listed above this.

Breaking: Lizard People making surprise comeback in MN Senate race

Garrett Dash Nelson — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:32:18 +0000

Minnesota Public Radio has a fantastic focus on some of the indeterminate ballots in the Franken/Coleman race. But it appears the MSM has been covering up what the voters really demanded—LIZARD PEOPLE.

Hobo matters

Garrett Dash Nelson — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 22:00:06 +0000

If you could distill everything that I think is funny into seven minutes, by some sort of Humor Salad Shooter, the gooey vegetable paste would look EXACTLY LIKE THIS OH GOD THIS MOVIE IS PERFECT.

“It’s as bad as a…”

Spring Greeney — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 06:05:57 +0000

Education debate aside (tough act to follow, if you ask me), how’s this for a teacher who sticks with you? Four years after my English teacher John Warthen handed me a typed version of this, I still come back to it and laugh aloud every time. So I give you: the Washington Post’s 1999 “Worst analogies ever written in a high school essay” contest. (Disregard the host site.)

My iPod is indie-tastic and I get exactly no action.

Maryellen McGowan — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 05:46:39 +0000

The Crimson persists in torturing Harvard’s most underprivileged minority: people who have good taste in things. For one glorious moment, I had a dream that my datability would be judged not by the appearance of my ass in jeans, but by the content of my iTunes… and then I remembered that the last time I tried to get away with playing an indie mix in a large Harvard social gathering I was actually boo-ed.

Also when was it that we were all stealing one another’s iPods to judge indie-ness without talking to one another? Was it at Yard Fest during GAVIN DEGRAW or JOEY DEGRAW?

Gnome again, gnome again jiggity jog

Maryellen McGowan — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 04:21:18 +0000

It’s baaaack. Argentina has all the luck.

“Baby Obi Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope!”

Maryellen McGowan — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 04:03:05 +0000

These Star Wars baby costumes were apparently designed in tandem with Abstinence-only sex education as a desperate, yet not ineffective, ploy to forever safeguard America from the specter of sub-replacement fertility rates.